How to thrive in a world that says you’re not good enough

20150926_161229In our everyday world we are faced with concepts, people and means of advertising that really make us feel inadequate in one form or another. All of us have encountered it and all of us likely will many times in the future. I’m going to share with you some ways in which we can aim to minimise the effects of this.

Overly boastful people It’s great that your friends have made achievements and varying successes in their life.However we have all had that one friend who takes it to that whole next level and not only boasts but rarely if ever take the time to share in your life or sucesses. Where possible you might need to limit exposure to this sort of person

Workplace and Job Status While its nice to aspire to have a “good” job and a higher position* people can eat themselves up over this. There are other ways to generate self-worth outside of the workplace such as volunteering or creative pursuits or even working from home should you prefer to look elsewhere for your sense of self-worth.

*if that’s what you prefer

Advertising This ones huge. What with modern psychology large advertisers these days use many tricks in the book to manipulate human psychology for your money. A lot of adverts are designed not to look scripted even though they are. These use men and women and families who are (at least perceived by the majority of society) as good-looking to an above average level.

Then you have the fashion magazines. These deliberately use photoshopped photographs of the models. It’s believed that 45-50% of readers of women’s fashion magazines are women aged in their forties (or older) and the airbrushed photos of models mostly in their 20’s and some in thier 30’s provides an unrealistic image to most women. I have also seen a video where someone ripped out all the pages that could be seen as advertising in  of the most prominent U.K ladies fashion mags. The results were astonishing with 70+% involving advertising in some degree.

That’s only magazines without mentioning T.V advertising

While I’m grounded in my belief that making an effort to look nice is self affirming for a woman I do understand the fashion mags often take it too far.

I suspect that a lot of this is true for men’s fashion magazines as well.

Social media So this ones kind of mixture of sorts. There are elements that carry over from the Overly Boastful friend and Advertising headings. While its great to see that friends are getting married, having children, landed a killer job at XYZ company this can grate if it’s non-stop. Sure, it’s not that many of your friends are out to be boastful but it can be over the top even so. The amount of advertisers who use social media can add to the overall pressure.

If you are feeling overwhelmed try to limit social media usage for as long as required to get back on track to a better path of self-love.

Try and love yourself even when you actively know you want to change Sure I get you’ve identified something you just want changed, but it’ll be more productive overall to practise self-love/like while actively acknowledging there’s something you’d like changed in your future.

Remember, plenty of avenues are have a vested interest in keeping you down (usually to gain your money), do not join them.

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

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