Understanding Aspbergers syndrome

As someone with the condition I thought I’d use my website as a platform to not only raise awareness of the condition but also aid those who seek to know more about it. As people with Aspbergers are not a monolith there will be some things that wont be applicable to your best friend, partner or even yourself! I’ll speak about how I relate to the ones applicable to me where possible.

The condition is best understood as a social disability although it can have some other potential symptoms that are unrelated to socializing. As part of the Autistic spectrum it’s seen as a condition in the Autistic Spectrum family and has been also called High Functioning Autism.

Need for Structure and Routine I can relate to those that need a structure to their day. It’s our way of knowing where we are at.

Differing manner of speech Some of us are known to over think and therefore not say an awful lot. This causes us issues from the perspective that some people see these sufferers as quiet when they perhaps are thinking of the best way to say something.

Most of us can have professor like vocabularies and this is usually true when speaking about our “areas of deep interest” or anything closely related.

Many of us speak in a manner that’s borderline formal although this can and does change in the right company.

May struggle to read facial expression or body language Because our brain chemistry is wired differently we can have trouble reading body language or misread it.

Perfection Many of us are either perfectionists or semi perfectionists. While this can be a great skill and aptitude to have it can mean we can be harsh on ourselves.

Stimming This is rarely heard of outside of the Aspie/Autistic sphere. Put simply stimming is our way of calming ourselves and neutralising any negative feelings that we may have. There are a wide range of stims that people use to self sooth when the need arises.

Phone Phobia I was pleased to read I wasn’t and am not the only one with this. This is in effect a mild apprehension of calling someone you are not yet acquainted with.

Have difficulty with falseness in general In most cases we have tremendous difficulty in pretending something is anything other than the way it is. I always struggle with the question How are you?, Because there’s a social norm to say good, thanks even if that’s not entirely true at the time. I understand the concept of “fake it till you make it” but have always been beyond hopeless at pulling it off in practice. I and many other aspies are transparent in our intent.

Sensory difficulties Some of us have sensory difficulties regarding bright lights, lots of noise, loud noise or even a combination. I’ve luckily only struggled with loud noise but others have sensory issues including more than one.

Intense interests We often have interests that are not the regular interests (although we can and do have those as well) ranging from Train Spotting to Banknote Collecting and many others. We usually have very deep knowledge bases on these “specialist” interests of ours.

Can be self-absorbed Without meaning to be we can be or come across as “self-absorbed”. We can over talk about ourselves without meaning to or even being “self conscious” that this is in fact what we are doing. It’s also possible that we may fail to take pleasure in other people happiness at times although this is not intended.

May have motor skill delays One of the key non socially related ones I grew up with was a delay in motor dexterity. It certainly took me a little longer to be able to play tennis and ride a bike then my peer group at the time.

May have noticeable difficulties in the dating arena Coupled with difficulty in accurately reading facial and bodily expressions many of us have underdeveloped flirting skills and skills surrounding dating as a concept. As a lesbian I’ve always been relieved when I’ve been hit on by girls rather than having to navigate how to do that sort of thing myself.

Struggle to keep eye contact I’ve heard of this complaint quite a lot from other aspies and can relate to it myself with ease. There is a social norm among society at large that eye contact is essential when talking to someone. I find this hard to do and it can put me off what I was actually trying to say. There are techniques out there that give the illusion of looking someone in the eye while not actually doing so which fulfils this expectation fairly well.

Most of us like people In most cases we do want to connect with others. The ability to “play it cool” is often an ability lost on us. Some of us can get lonely because of this and some seek people similar to us that “get” our way of seeing things.

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

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