When is a good time not to care?

20160922_1156291One of the key tenets of this site has been ways in which to aim to lead an easier life. I’m not suggesting giving up all cares for key areas required for life to go smoothly, but give up or limit cares for things that will not help us or will help us very little. There are a few for all of us.

I will give examples to show you what I mean, these examples may relate to you or they may not.

Even if some of these do relate to you I’d suggest doing even further soul-searching as there will be some unique to you.

Gossip (the extreme variety) So I’m not talking about the odd new bit of must know news that’s just got round the office quicker then the next derby winner, but I am talking about that insidious form of gossip that ruins people’s lives in one way or another. I’ve been lucky to experience this a mere handful of times, but thats enough for me.

Biting ones tongue (for the ladies) At some point we have all been there. A recent one for me was when there was a bee or wasp passing by our table regularly in a country pub in mid summer. After it came too close to me for comfort at least twice I had to politely ask if something could be done, despite another member of the group gesturing for me not to. Sure I get it wasn’t their fault but this example is a great example of what I mean.

Small talk (the variety that’s leading nowhere) I understand the world is made in such a way where often times small talk is needed. I’m OK with it if it leads to something bigger but have no real sense of caring for anything that never passes mundane small talk. I am an introvert and its the way I roll to a large extent.

Work Stress This is one of the more relative ones but there are ways to cut the level of care you give to aspects of your work that do not interest you (even if its only in your mental chatter). Breathing exercises can be great for trying to keep stresses at bay during work. Mindfulness (internal brain chatter only) that a lot of managements problems are thier problems and not directly yours can help.

Over accumulation of money This is another relative one. Sure its nice to have money to pay the bills and live a reasonably decent lifestyle, however accumulation of money to the extremes could actually serve to limit happiness from the perspective of having to work harder or longer hours. Money sure does aid hapiness but only up to a certain point.

Alcohol Since I started my journey without the ethanol molecule I’ve learned to love life without not only booze itself but hangovers and that awful groggy “alcohol tiredness” feeling. Life is for living and with non alcoholic beers wines and cocktails (mocktails) why would I ever want the ethanol molecule again?

Football (and the rivalry that goes with it) I really have tired of “the beautiful game” and its rivalry even more so. In my eyes the games boring and I simply have not got either the energy nor the desire to care if Burnley beat West Ham. I thought I’d add this as in the British Isles football is quite a big thing and not to be into it is reasonably subversive. I prefer  racing as there’s no rivalry and its much more exciting to watch (for me)

Fitting in This is one of those things I never have done. I barely know what the concept means. I get why people feel the need to fit in but its one of those concepts that simply doesn’t appear on my radar.

I hope the examples I have given will aid you in soul-searching for things you really don’t need to care about, or care less about.

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

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Try not to sabotage life with comparing yourself to others

20160312_181311Hello Dear Readers

My title is a bit dramatic and it is for fairly positive reasons.

Comparing yourself to another person really is a way to sabotage (or lessen) your chances of happiness.

Sure, we’ve all been there, myself included. Examples could be She looks better than I do, He’s got a better job than mine, Wow their house is amazingly decorated and beats mine and the list could quite easily go on. There truly is potentially no end to the number of possibilities out there, but its a fair idea stop or at least lessen this revolving door, for the sake of your happiness.

Sure I do understand its hard to do and I’m in no way an expert in not doing it 100% of the way but here are some insights which might aid you in at least limiting the beast which is self comparison with others.

Realise that who you might envy have their own struggles. Sure, they might not appear on the surface. They likely won’t share them with you, unless you know each other well but yes everybody has struggles of their own. Realising this takes the “sting” out of the comparison with the other person.

Should you wish to make comparison then previous “versions” of yourself is an entirely better means of going about it. Over the course of years you will have changed in ways entirely un-imaginable to former “versions” of yourself. You can also use experience from the vast wealth of previous life experience or career experience to help guide the you in the present gain what it is you feel you require for happiness. Even ways you did things previously that did not work will help greatly in choosing a different course of action or response.

If you are looking for something someone else has then why not consider how to incorporate what they have into your life in an emotionally productive way. This will not always work and will not always work quickly but it can in some circumstances. Easier things to obtain such as a fashionable style someone else rocks can be obtainable with a simple complement and a genuine question or two about how they do it and where is the best shops for that look etc. If you can implement a simple change such as fashion style of simple behaviors you have little to lose and more to gain.

Compliment people who emulate  something you like even if you don’t directly wish for what it is they have. So if someone has a fashion sense that totally rocks on them but it’s not something you’d go for yourself, why not drop a genuine compliment. It opens you up and is instant karma, Result! In effect you are celebrating their (style, character, house, whatever) with them. Complementing others will lead you to complement yourself as well as it’s a positive form of energy.

Seek growth that’s right for you but don’t be overzealous with your quest for growth. We all wish to grow and advance, but there are the paths that naturally suit us and those that will not. To choose the path that will not could affect our happiness.

I remember when I was trying to advance in a “career” even though it was (at the time) making me more fearful and impinging on my sense of happiness. Career building is great if you have a passion for law or accountancy but if you don’t any novelty could be short-lived and ultimately your sense of happiness could dwindle.

Remember that someone else’s path is different to yours. I remember back at school where some people choose their final year subjects based on what their friends had chosen. I thought I’d mention that to prove it can happen. If you try to compare yourself by the ways of other people you might find yourself walking their path and not yours.

So why not try to love yourself and nourish yourself in every way possible.

Or in the words of Iyanla Vanzant “comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self”

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

More booze? – No thanks.

20160423_182940Hello Dear Readers

So on Saturday 10 September 2016 I made the first inner pledge to give up alcohol, for good. Why would I wish to do this, and why would anyone seek to give up on a good tipple? Well my rationale for wishing to do this holds many potential points and here they are.

Some of the points may be useful to others who are thinking of giving up or are in the process of giving up and some may be not, however I think there will be at least a few points that will be useful for anyone contemplating giving up or in the process.

Here we go…

Sometimes one needs to move on. We all move on at differing times in our lives and we also feel the need to move on in differing times in our lives. At 27 years old I had largely been there, done that. When you’ve reached a point where there’s “no new moves” it can start to lose its draw and appeal.

To a large extent it’s not entirely relaxing. This point is not as perplexing as it first appears. Just think of the “mind fogginess” and the fact that you can still be tired often after 8 (or more hours of sleep) after a nights drinking. Not to mention the hangovers. From this sort of perspective I’d be hesitant to call it relaxing. Definitely one thing of being sick and tired of always being sick and tired of

For some a form of arrested development can occur. Arrested development means a case where someone has developed at a much slower rate than usual for that age group or peer group. While there are other  reasons for late progression in a person (including disabilities), alcohol can be a notable factor for some. Those who have no sense of direction or forward planning short of which locale to meet up at Friday night is what I’m talking about here.

There’s the Vanity argument. Alcohol can prematurely age a persons physical self when you drink week-in, week-out over the course of many years. If you are vain self proud about the skin you inhabit then quitting the “grog” isn’t such a bad idea. Holly from Hip Sobriety even has photos to prove it.

Needing something to enjoy yourself. At some point it becomes nice to enjoy yourself without needing some form of “chemical influence”. Alcohol is a huge industry and the marketing is so good that many almost “no longer know how to enjoy themselves without alcohol”. That’s sad from a point of view of genuine pity.

Getting confidence naturally. In the later years one of the key reasons I used alcohol was because I simply had no confidence to sing and dance while sober, I also love these artistic forms of expression (which is what they truly are). Many use alcohol to cover up other insecurities. In the long-term its more beneficial to seek to work on getting the confidence  naturally, it’s also healthier as well.

The health benefits. To give up alcohol will help keep bigger illnesses at bay. Alcohol can play a part in Cancer, Diabetes, and a few more to boot.

I’ll let you know how the journey goes.

A fun fact is I outgrew alcohol before I outgrew Pokémon. Interesting factoid there.

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

Re-sensitising in the modern age for feminine souls

20150830_191637Hello Dear Readers

I’ll be touching on reclaiming your emotional core and inner sense of being (all of it) from the perspective of a feminine of center soul.

This article is a spin-off from Renee Wade’s article but I have some other perspectives to share. I do like Renee’s site but realise some of it may work for you and some of it may not. I’m a feminine lesbian and (as an example) do not need to worry about “attracting men” Not everything the site has to offer is universally a help to every feminine soul, but I’m sure a fair share will be.

The world has changed over the generations. Nowadays women work more than ever due to the 2nd wave feminist movement. While that’s applaudable and a huge step forward the world has changed in other ways not entirely for the best.

Most feminine souls likely have to suppress their ability to use thier emotions and I’d also suggest some level of ability to connect with our inner selves.

The modern workplace often works from a masculine spectrum energy. These days “productivity, fast paced, go-go-go” and others are common words with the modern workplace. In a few generations the working world has largely become obsessed to extraordinary degrees with productivity, fast paced environments and a general go, go, go atmosphere.

There’s nothing wrong with masculine energy and its no doubt part of the balance, but this “extreme challenge” and “big go-getter” stuff is masculine.

The problem is that you can depolarize if you learn how to behave in an energy that’s not natural to you. This goes for both masculine and feminine energies. If someone depolarizes too much they might feel like a “part of them is missing” and even though some parts of their life are going entirely great (such as bank balance) they will still feel as though something (deeper) is missing that should be there.

So how do you go about re-connecting to your inner goddess energy or re-sensitise, that’s the question. While it’s not always easy there are some methods for staying “grounded” in the feminine.

Creativity is one of the first ways to reconnect with your inner sense of feminine.

Re-connecting and reliving your emotions and making an effort to look at yourself from outside yourself and sympathise with yourself, also the ability to understand what someone else is feeling and understand thier emotions through thier eyes can be an amazing gift. Not everyone can do this so its a great skill to learn or re-acquire.
Trying to maintain a mostly lighthearted and humble persona will help with feeling connected.

Watching TV shows that has a big “emotional understanding” component to it can help keep those batteries charged. This is a large reason why I love Pokémon

Dressing in a well-kept and self proud manner will also help, this might mean fewer or even no “bed head days” but it will likely feel better in the long run.

If need be consider changing job and/or career. While its nice to earn a high salary and all the perks and people looking up to you, if where it is you are just is not bringing you a sense of happiness or fulfilment then it could be an idea for a change. Even a lower paid position could potentially bring more hapiness depending on what the job entails and if your willing to accept a lower salary for enhanced satisfaction.

To feel intimately closer to your true nature is the true elixir of life.

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

How I discovered my future as a writer – Life path part 2

20160416_155203Hello dear readers

This is a follow-up from my initial post called “Looking for a change of direction

I am writing this follow us as I honestly believe I may well have found my “career path” which can be intertwined with the “life path” also. I’m not suggesting being an article writer is for everyone but I believe the insights will be valuable to readers and the idea and process can be tweaked to fit someone elses circumstances.

I started this blog/website last month and it just feels like the right path now. I have long-held an idea of not only “bettering myself” but potentially being self-employed in some form preferably on something that I’m interested in and will last over long (or unlimited period of time).

I got my first chance of “being my own boss” while working for Avon a few years back. While I had some level of fun selling to friends and family I’m no “social butterfly” and left this after 8 months.

I went back to “day jobs” that were largely unexciting but paid the bills. Weve all been there and while there was nothing wrong with this I was easily interested in something a bit more “me” and preferably had some “creative streak” if I could help it.

Since I’m a train enthusiast I gave sincere thought to starting a railway blog. While It was a fantastic idea from a perspective I had figured you’d have to be an extreme form of rail enthusiast to be able to conjure up enough articles to make it worthwhile and attract an interested base of readers.

Another avenue of writing which potentially caught my interest for a fair while was Alternative (or Conspiracy) Research. I’m keenly interested in this and have been for a number of years. There were a few things that put me off. The first was the endless fact checking that needs to be carried out to be seen as credible by those who hold and interest for this genre. The second is there’s a lot of finger-pointing and negativity within the genere and I’d love to keep my site reasonably light-hearted where possible.

So I created this website in the latter end of June 2016. I feel that the format I have taken is the best path for myself as I feel I write the best when I am solving problems for others both in a light-hearted way and on mostly intuition and thoughts that come to me naturally. This is also exciting as I honestly don’t know what my future articles will be with exception to ones I’m on in the relative here and now, but that’s exciting in a “whats the next twist” way.

The name of this site is Pensamientos de la Reina Razonable, which means thoughts of Queen Reasonable in Spanish. The title of the site has been chosen in order to openly state that I’m here to share whats in my heart space.

I had always known I wanted to do “something I preferred” with a “creative twist” and an ability “to help society or sections of it”. Please understand it’s taken me a fair number of years to get even this far. Realisations such as these simply do not happen quickly for the vast amount of people (myself included) but anyone with a keen interest for improving on what job they have can reach this point should they be willing to embark on this journey of soul-searching. It’s a long journey with periods of despair at times but its worth it.

A key phrase I remeber is “when the head and the heart are at odds, go with the heart” (unknown). This is not only a fantastic piece of advice but the ethos of which this website is created

As for me I’m just getting started

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

Looking for a change of direction?

20150621_211700Many of us are looking for something that fits more in line with who we are and our principles. Usually this means in a career sense but it can also no doubt mean general life direction sense.

The first question is what are your values. These could be anything that means something dear to you. People first think of values as being thier understanding of right vs wrong. While I admit this is no doubt part of the overall picture, I do say theres more to it then that.

I’d expand values to mean anything you cherish or hold dear to you as a person. A key example would be the understanding of free time. Theres no right vs wrong equation involved but some value it more then others and some are happy to part with it or compromise.

Another is how can my indivuduality, experience and creativity help someone esle suceed in some way or make thier day a touch easier? If you can think as to how you can improve the lives of others through your abilities then this will be a fair clue.

The last thing I’d advise is to keep an eye on your passions. Should you be able to do something connected to what you are passionate about it will be a win-win for all parties concerned.

There are some great and not so great YouTube sessions out there.

Some are

Scott Dinsmore TED talk
Adam Leipzig – TED Malibu

Samantha

La Reina Razonable