Non assimilation adoptee lifestyle

Some international and intercultural adoptees can feel a profound loss of their original nation or culture of birth (usually in addition to desires to connect with their birth family or members within it). The reason why some international adoptees feel this way and others do not is not entirely known. This lifestyle or any variation of it can bridge the gap between the disconnect felt.

In a basic understanding the non assimilation lifestyle is a means to live by the values and culture of your original nation in a day-to-day sense, it’s incorporating elements of culture into ones life as much as humanly possible.

There are of course many ways of incorporating elements of your original culture into day to day life in your host country.

Language If your homeland/motherland has a different language to the one you’ve grown up into then it’s a fair idea to learn the language of your motherland and to a fair degree as well. While this is not mandatory not having the language limits your ability to access the culture on an equal level as those who have grown up into that language. However some options are still available should you choose not to.

Singing in the language is good for all both extrovert and introvert personalities and will help garner a greater linguistic understanding. Keeping up to date with the local charts will keep you up to date with what’s new in your motherland

Speak the language at home if at all possible. Not only will you gain some basic everyday vocabulary but you will also be using the same language as your people do and hopefully this will help you gain love for the language of your original culture. This could even become your preferred language in due time.

Make friends with people where you are from One way of gaining a sense of belonging in the real world is to seek out friendships with those from where you come from. Depending on how diverse your local area is there may be some local to you and some may speak the language you grew up into. If not then the internet is an option.

Watching television related to your culture Can typically be done in either the language of your homeland or the one that you grew up into. Typically the amount of TV is going to be far more diverse in the language of the country itself as there will be multiple channels and films made in that country. National Geographic and similar channels may air the occasional programme focusing on your homeland.

Cooking To cook and savour the culinary delights of your original culture is one of the few and accessible means of accessing culture without worrying about languages at all. All that’s required is knowledge of what ingredients to get with some basic to medium cooking ability and voilá. Cookbooks can be obtained for many countries from Albania to Lebanon. Also many recipes can be found on the internet.

Obtain any items that may make you feel happier and more connected Any item that will make you feel happier will do. For some its flags and pennants. For others its cultural dress and items related to special cultural days. I’ve even heard of someone collecting display knives from their origin nation.

Learn the dance styles connected with your culture While this is often a more traditional thing it can appeal to some who already have a liking for dancing and traditional dance styles.

I personally live the non assimilation adoptee life as best as I can and feel more comfortable living this lifestyle then trying to assimilate and be someone who I ultimately feel I am not. I believe this lifestyle or variations of it can truly aid some adoptees in feeling more themselves and for this reason I advocate for awareness the differences of international adoptees so that the world understands where some of us are coming from

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

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How to think less about Politics

Many of us have gone over the top when it comes to politics, on a myriad if issues on both the left, right and centre of the spectrum. It’s understandable on an evolutionary standpoint as in the early days it’s rumoured that politics could have meant life or death for some people or living in squalor. Luckily in the 20th century things have moved on immensely from those times but it’s still possible to get entirely carried away with politics.

There are a number of reasons why you might get carried away with political issues and ways to prevent it should you desire not to

Stick to the issues most important to you Sure, you have a ton of issues you care about. However maybe sticking to a small handful (or less if you can manage) is a means to keep your political vent time on the down low.

Stop hiding from your demons or figure out what they are so you then have a chance of understanding the problem. I have sounded off over political issues when they touched a nerve too close to home more than once. An ability to understand what it is in your life that’s triggering these feelings will be of greater assistance to you then “sounding off” in many cases.

Realise you can’t change everything both directly and indirectly. There are a whole ton of political issues out there and yes its possible that you can change some of them by protesting, petitioning and showing populist support on social media. However there really are some you stand little to no chance of making any changes to. Knowing when to quit and save your energy will mean your more relaxed for what you wish to do and those issues that are closer to your heart.

Have some hobbies take up what you’ve always been wishing to do or discover something new. Many of us use politics as a cover for when were entirely bored and have nothing better to do with life. Often times it covers social media and the news so there is an almost endless stream of it for those who crave it. If you find yourself caught in this trap and don’t wish to be then it’s the time to take up old hobbies, or discover something new that you never would have thought you’d like.

I do think in some situations it’s advisable to take a hard stance politically and to walk away from every issue politically is not the greatest action if you wish for your voice to be heard, however I also think that endless political debates that can turn into full-blown arguments can turn counterproductive pretty quickly and gain you a bad reputation.

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

Alternative indoor activities – Dancing

If you prefer the active life and like to be “actively doing” even when you are intending to have lots of fun then Dancing and Dance routines coud be something to consider if too much television is not your gig.

Discover new music Well since you know Single Ladies by Beyonce off by heart then why not see what else is out there. Theres bound to be a whole ton of stuff just asking to be discovered and now you’ve got an excuse to see what’s out there.

Have a way of embracing international music If you are a language learner or someone who is keeping their linguistic skills up to date then its a no fuss way of embracing music from other shores and keeping up to date with “what’s just hit the Argentine chart at number 1”.

Depending on your preference this can be coupled with singing.

Doesn’t require other people for you to enjoy it Sure it’s often nice to share your activities with others but this is one of those activities that can be enjoyed solo if you are rained out and truly can’t get to your mates house at all. It can also be enjoyed in the company of others for example Zumba etc.

Zumba Is usually a group activity where a mild exercise/dance routine is shared among the participants while some high tempo music is being played in the background. It’s popular among many age groups and provides relatively easily accessible means of sharing both exercise and dance in the company of others.

Exercise routines Some are looking for a more full on exercise regimen, usually with the aid of an experienced physical trainer. These regimens can and usually are enjoyed in the presence of music to get and keep the participants in the mood.

Cultured Music and Dances Love Salsa, Flamenco and other cultured dancing styles that are a hit in the ballroom? Many clubs and classes that teach these styles are out there and they can be a great way to meet new people and “feel” another culture by practising it.

Help with sense of self Even if done in your own privacy dancing can be a nice carefree way to embrace yourself and feel at one with yourself.  It’s a way of expressing yourself in a westernised culture that appears to care only about productivity. The ability to do something for the sheer fact it helps you to feel whole and enlivened. We can show our spirit and our heart through dance. This can build confidence in other areas.

Release of good vibes If you do any form of dancing for even half an hour the chemicals it will release into your bloodstream will help to raise your mood and spirits and can also wake you up if you are feeling a little tired to a more enlivened state.

Keep Dancing!

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable

Why keep the T.V on the down low?

20150808_191453.jpgI may be known for a number of reasons, but its safe to say watching lots of television is not one of them. I’m not the only one out there that tries to moderate their T.V intake as many have reasons why they feel that thier focus should be on other activities both career wise and recreational. If you are considering a life of less television here are some good reasons as to why it may be beneficial.

Taking away from people around you The world has many great people in it. By overwatching the telly you are limiting your chances of meeting them, and possibly making new friendships. While those on the screen might be great characters why not forge some experiences of your own with real people. Even the introverts among us can focus on our few closer friends a bit more.

Negative F.M So some programmes are worse at this than others. In particular the soaps and the News broadcasts. The soaps have declined over the years to the point that the “negative plots” have increased and since when did you find a news piece that was positive. While they do exist I’m sure you had to stop and think for a few moments.

Overeating Ever watched something and just got restless from all the passive sitting and then gone to get something to eat to find that before you know it you’ve binged?  Don’t worry I won’t judge as we all have (including yours truly). There are many studies which link television over use with binge eating.

Money The amount of money spent on not only the box itself but TV related paraphernalia is quite high. Many households actually have more TV’s then people and just imagine all the scart leads and miscellany required. Also have you ever rented a DVD to find you didn’t watch it before the return date. I’m sure we all have done it once in our lives. Wow that’s a lot of dough.

Some of us are innately “practical people” I’d often times rather sing (albeit usually in other languages). I’ve found a meeting of board gamers which is a good alternative “indoorsy” activity. Some of us truly are people who prefer to “do” even in leisure time.

Being with nature Isn’t mother nature wonderful? By putting down the remote you will get more chance of seeing different areas of our lovely planet. Even cities and built up areas can have their beauty.

Unrealistic expectations are created In both adverts and the programmes themselves the people are subtly un-natural. I say subtly as they don’t look un-natural per se but how many people do you see that look like these actors on your local high street. All the actors are made up by make up artists (yes even the men) which gives them a look superior to that of the nicest looking man or woman on the street. No wonder our teens have self-confidence issues.

Time Ever caught yourself in that spiral where you’d like to stop watching but you just can’t bring yourself to, and before you know it you’ve watched an extra hour. Once again I’m sure we all have. It’s believed that the average American watches around 34 hours a week. Some of those hours could be better spent on relationships with people or something you’ve really wanted to do.

Advertising is big business. The TV could be playing a role in purchases you neither truly wanted or needed. Adverts are made in such a way that they can tap into your subconscious mind and at least influence your purchasing decisions. It’s no secret that Advertisers will use every trick of human psychology out there in order to make you feel you need that purchase.

Is it always truly relaxing? We have all found ourselves watching something we barely care about. Sometimes we do is as we feel there’s “nothing better to do” and other times to procrastinate, but in those situations we feel neither relaxed nor entertained.

Creativity Have a lot of creative energy? or simply have a desire to be creative just for fun? More time spent consuming is less spent creating. Whether its drawing, paper mache, poetry or music if you have a passion for creativity then the box in the corner of the room might be one of the reasons you don’t embrace it as much as you might have liked.

Samantha Eaton

La Reina Razonable